Wanda the Bang Bang Lady

June 25, 2013


Wanda is the Bang Bang Lady from Bangbanglady.com.  And Wanda knows marketing.  Her sign works!  When I was in Columbus, GA this past weekend for my daughter’s tennis tournament Wanda the Bang Bang Lady was everywhere.  You couldn’t miss her.  I too am in marketing and my only suggestion is to maybe use a fake Bang Bang Lady model when you’re posting these on 10′ x 20′ billboards (sorry Wanda).  But still, it works.  I’m writing and thinking about it as we speak.

So it is almost the Fourth of July and Wanda inspired me to talk a little bit about what is most popular these days in the world of fireworks.

#1 on the Bang Bang Lady’s list is “The American Trucker”.  It shoots off red white and blue sparks out of the exhaust pipes of a semi.  That is just plain cool and American.  I’d buy that.

#2 is “The Blonde Joke”.  I’m not sure what this one does but the packaging has a bunch of blondes pictured on the box and I am envisioning it telling one liner blonde jokes as the fireworks go off.  Something like “Why did the blonde runner stare at the orange juice container?  It said concentrate on it.” or “Why did the blonde runner cross the road?  I don’t know.  Neither did she.”  or “Why do blondes write TGIF on their running shoes?  Toes go in first.”  or “A blonde goes out for a run. She comes to a river and cannot see a bridge anywhere nearby. She spots another blonde on the opposite bank.  “Yoohoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?” The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, You’re already on the other side!”  Ok, I’ll stop right there as I know I have plenty of blonde followers and friends and I want to keep them (even Wanda is blonde which may be why subconsciously I’ve resorted to stupid blonde jokes for a laugh; I apologize).

#3 is “The Killer Alligator”.  This is another one where I have no idea what would be inside.  I am imagining an alligator head that opens slowly and out spews more blonde jokes like this one – A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn’t want to pay the high prices.  After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, “Maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price.”  Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.  Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, “Damn it, this one isn’t wearing any shoes either.”

What is with me and these blonde jokes tonight!  It’s Wanda I tell ya!  Again, I am sorry.

Running Update:  Week 1 of 20 is in the books.  Savannah Marathon here I come.  I have stuck to the training plan without a problem.  The old body is falling apart but no misses yet.  And why write about signs?  Summer is my daughter’s tennis season months where we visit and I run in all the small towns in Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina and Alabama.  They like their signs.  In fact, I may just pick a sign in each small town we go to and write about it.  Truly, I think I could write a book on the signs I see and the smile and inside laughs they bring me.  People are very creative in these small towns.  If only they had a blog!  And if I only had a camera on my runs!

Still only 22 months and 26.2 miles to go…