TJ the Cheesehead NFL Owner

TJ.  It’s my new nickname.  FB is so 30 days ago.  I gave it to myself if that is allowed.  It is short for Jerry Jones Jr. or Three Js.  And it is all because the Green Bay Packers allowed me to become part-owner of their franchise.  That’s right.  I’m an NFL owner now.  It doesn’t matter that I only own one share.  It only matters that I am truly and officially part-owner of the Packers.  Being the huge fan that I am…that is cool is all I can say.

My wife was a bit surprised to get my text that read something like “I’m going to buy us all Packer shares today.  $1000.”  Well, needless to say it was a few texts later and I settled on being our family’s representative.  It cost me $275 ($250 per share + $25 handling charge).  It is completely worthless from a money standpoint.  I can never sell it.  I can never transfer it to anyone else.  I can never make any sort of return on my investment.  BUT, what I can do is brag to anyone and everyone who will listen that I’m not just a fan,  I’m an owner.  The success of the Packers is in my hands (kind of).  It is pressure.  If Aaron starts to suck, I have to represent the rest of the fan base with my one share partial vote and think about bringing back Brent Favre (nah).  And what it does offer (for real) is to give me the ability to attend the annual shareholders meeting inside Lambeau Field each year.  And I get a stock certificate for the basement wall.  That is all so worth $250.

The cheese is going fast as they say.  They raised $400K in the first 11 minutes (my $250 was part of that number).  And over 185,000 shares were sold in the first two days alone!  That’s $46M raised in just 48 hours!  Only $100M left to go to cover the cost of the Lambeau Field expansion.  I’m all for it believe me.  I’m like #19,000 on the wait list for Packer season tickets.  I’m expecting a few more expansions and I’m in.  If it hits before I’m 60 we’re retiring and moving to Green Bay earlier than planned.  That, or I am.

So what do I plan to do as owner?  I’ve had a day or so to think about it.  Here’s some ideas:

Change #1 “Trough Amendment” – This may be kind of gross but I’m going to get rid of the urinals and re-install the troughs at Lambeau.  Maybe only the guys will understand but when you have to go you have to go.  Especially when there is beer and tailgating involved.  The beauty of the former troughs was you walked into the bathroom and just kept walking and then you left.  Urinals mean lines which means waiting.  We’re going back.

Change #2 “Mr. Rodgers” – We’re going to put big *ss flags on the top of each of the field goals that read “Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood”.  I saw a tailgater with one this last trip up there in the tailgating area.  I like that so much it is going inside.

Change #3 “Owners Rule” – Owners get seats.  I mean what the heck is going on?  I’m an owner for cripes sake and I’m 19,000 on the waiting list?!  That needs to change.  And I’m heading down to walk the sidelines with about 6 minutes to go each game.  And high fiving the boys on the way to the tunnel.  I’ll wear my Owner cheesehead so they know I’m important.

Change #4 “Jump Around” – I know this is a Badger thing but let’s make it a Wisconsin thing.  Between the 3rd and 4th quarters we’re playing Jump Around loud and everyone is going to jump around.  You’ve seen it on TV at Camp Randall.  Now you’ll see it at Lambeau too.

Change #5 “Knob Creek” – You can’t bring in your own drinks or food but there is now going to be one exception.  In the games held in November-February at Lambeau you are now allowed to sneak in a pint of Knob Creek.  It’s good for the soul and warms you up.  Norwegians will love this new change.

I’m sure I’ll think of other things but that should do for now.  I don’t want to make a spectacle of myself in the first shareholder meeting.  One thing that won’t change is the call center process and reps that support the shareholders.  I called to confirm my order.   It says press 2 if you have questions about your order and so I do.  But given there are so many people buying I bet the lines are packed (no pun intended).  What is crazy is I spent like 5 minutes waiting on the line and do they play elevator music?  Nope.  They play Green Bay radio snipits from last year’s Superbowl.  They had the fumble that Clay Mathews forced, the interception pick 6 by Nick Collins and a few of the touchdowns.  They would play one clip and then play the da da, da da da da Go Pack Go music/chant.  I didn’t want any of the reps to pick up.  But then one did and when we’re done talking guess what she said?  “Thank you for supporting your team!  Go Pack Go!”  She really said that.  With enthusiasm!  That’s awesome.

Running Update: I got nothing.  Doc says Sports Hernia so take a month off running.  So you’ll see me at Lifetime on the Eliptical and the bike.  Then back in the saddle in January.

Still only 40 months and 26.2 miles to go…(You got a double bonus this month since I was so excited to talk about being an owner.  Back to monthly next month maybe.)

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“You know what they say, if Dick Cheney comes out of his hole and shoots an old man in the face, six more weeks of winter.” — Jimmy Kimmel

They also say when you’ve finished training and running a marathon that you’re supposed to let your body recovery for about a month and eat and drink like you’re back in (old) school.  I’ve followed that advice to a T.  In fact, I went up north to Wisconsin this past month for our annual deer hunting excursion with my son, my dad, my best friend from high school and a good family friend my dad’s age.  If drinking beer, eating cheese and crackers, eating cheeseburgers, eating beef jerky, eating Mrs. Fishers potato chips, eating skin on wieners and eating chili helps you recover from a marathon – I should be fully recovered now (or dead soon).  I figured this month I could give you all a little taste of what this kind of trip looks like.

There was absolutely no running and definitely no elliptical or bikes involved.  Just traipsing around the north woods in my blaze orange hunting suit (looking like Ralphie) and sneaking a peek at my watch to see if I could theoretically go back in to the cabin to play cards and stay warm without getting verbally abused by my fellow hunters.  I have thin southern blood now days so I don’t think the cold is good for me.  That, and the cabin is just so much warmer than being 15′ up in the air in a tree in 10 degree wind chill weather.  Only fun I had in the woods this year was watching the little chick-a-dees (since I never saw any deer).  And one of those crazy birds actually landed on the tip of my rifle.  They are brave little suckers.

For those of you violently opposed to this annual tradition (yeah you Disney), don’t worry, I don’t ever get anything and didn’t again this year.  And neither does my group (usually).  It’s really just a way to bond with my son, my dad and my buddies/cousins for a weekend in a place that has nothing but woods surrounding it and gravel roads in all directions.  I’ve been going up there for 40 years now with my Dad.  I’m very fortunate and glad to be able to say that.

Speaking of gravel roads – if you take the gravel road out of our place to the left one mile and then turn left on another gravel road and right on another you end up in a small town called Pray, Wisconsin.  I’m pretty sure the name has nothing to do with what it implies as all they have there are two bars and a railroad track.  That’s it.  Here is how simple life is for the bartender at the Pray’s Saddle Mound Tap.  Every day around noon, the train that comes within about 50 yards of the place slows down to a crawl as it passes through town.  It blares its whistle and out she runs with the hamburger and fries.  And then on his way he goes.  Same thing, day after day.  I bet they have a little something going on other than the burger in that coal car if you know what I mean.  I’m sure that train sometimes stops a bit longer on some days than on other days but then again what else is there to do?  Playing Golden Eye and eating pork rinds can only take you so far.  Needless to say, we didn’t talk much about running during my time in Pray.

Another town we go to is called Hatfield, Wisconsin.  That is the town with the population disclaimer above.  Its much bigger than Pray.  There are at least four bars in this place.  And their claim to fame is that they used to have a skating rink.  They do have a lake and I suppose that is what draws people in during the summer.  But during the winter this influx of deer hunters is probably their last hoo-rah.  What you’ll find to draw in the hunters includes:  a roulette wheel on the ceiling to win bottles of Windsor, shake of the day dice cups (I won a 12 pack of Leinenkugel!), venison jerky, 30-06 rifle raffles, pickled eggs, Funyons, Orange Crush pop, signs above the bar that say “you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning”, Green Bay Packer pictures from the past 40 years, mounted deer heads, Da Yoopers on the jukebox and thankfully and finally no smoke.  These places used to be a smog.  No talk about running in these joints either.  I could just never find the right time to say “hey guys, any of you ever run a marathon?” or “hey, any of you guys still experience chafing during your long runs?” or “hey, did you guys know that if you were to start running every day you’ll die healthier?”  I’m pretty sure that was a wise move.  Awkward is the word that comes to mind.

Running Update:  So what does all this have to do with running?  Absolutely nothing.  That is what is supposed to be the case the weeks following running a marathon.  What I can do is give you an update on the Boston or Bust situation.  Last month I said the odds were 70:30 Bust vs. Boston.  I think the odds have changed since I’ve read the new qualification requirements.  Odds are now 90:10 Bust vs. Boston but I’m going to keep writing and keep the dream alive.  The reason for this odds adjustment?  These new qualification requirements are beyond crazy.  When I go for it in 2013/2014 to qualify I’ll have to run a marathon in 3:30:00 or less.  They now are doing a rolling qualification which means I really need to run like 3:25:00 or less to be able to register early for my 2015 50-year-old age group.  That is 7.82 minute miles.  My body doesn’t respond to or even know what 7.82 minute miles are at this point.  There are still lots of FB pounds on me that need to go away before that is even something to consider.  But at least I know what they require now.  They’ve changed it to be this hard to weed out the riff raff I suppose.   That would be me.  But I won’t let those snooty elite Boston Athletic Association organizers spoil my blogging and running goals.  I’m hopeful they won’t change this again anytime soon.  I think they did it this time just to spite me as this was the first time its been changed in 33 years.

Optimist (Boston Side of Me): One thing Slider did on the ride over to complete our Savannah Marathon quest was pop in a Jim Valvano motivational speech from before he had cancer.  It was in the context of how NC State won the 1983 National Championship against a Houston team with Clyde Drexler and Hakeem Olajawon.  Truly it was one of the biggest upsets and underdog wins ever.  In this speech he said something that stuck with me.  He had told his team before the season “How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you must have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal, and you have to be willing to work for it.”  So these new qualifier standards?  They’re just bumps in the road and something I have to work towards getting past in pursuit of this next goal.  Ain’t nothing. [By the way – this week is the ESPN 2011 Jimmy V Week for Cancer.  Go check out www.jimmyv.org]

Pessimist (Bust Side of Me):  Holy crap.  I’m screwed.  I know that being public about these goals is good motivation but c’mon man.  7 minute miles?  Maybe I just need to hydrate a bit more (like the guy below) than I did last time.  That ought to speed things up.

Only 40 months and 26.2 miles to go…